I forgot how much I love tumblr! I’m getting back in it

Letting go is the hardest thing to do sometimes. if I can do it I might be able to live again…

(Source: heatherli)

No I am not Happy all the time, no sometimes I feel like nothing is going to work out. Yes, the things that hurt me the most I want to run from. Yes
I start balling for know apparent reason at random times of the night. Yes I carry a lot of pain, that I don’t share with anyone. No I haven’t learned to let go of it completely, but I am trying to learn how. No, life isn’t perfect. Yes, I smile to try and keep the pain away. Truth is, I’m scared about a lot of things now, things you will probably never know about. Sometimes I just want to scream at the top of my lungs how much I hate you. Sometimes I cry for fear I will lose you…this stops me from seeing you. I’ve never experienced pain from my past and fear from the present this way. I am all sorts of fucked up right now

I am not sure if you know this, but I still love you. I know things are finished and going back is not going to happen. I want you to be happy, I want me to be happy. I want us to love again and find something more than what we had together. This really seems impossible now, but I still believe it can happen. No one knows me, my pain, my life, my dreams, my everything more than you. You know everything that is me, even with me changing…I know you will understand me. There will truly never be another you in my life and I want you know, that, I love you. It is time to make room in my heart so it can grow and love again. My heart will never forget you, but it does need to grow. Thank you, love, for everything you gave me. I will always look back on us and smile. Our love was full of ups and downs, one day we will be able to balance someone out in a way we could not balance our love. Be good, friend, you’ll always be in my heart. 

(Source: heatherli)